Putting your loved one into a nursing home at the end of life can be a gut-wrenching experience. Things can get even more emotional if you discover that your loved one has been subjected to less than ideal care, or even abuse from a nursing home employee. Obviously, you should do what you can to vet the nursing home before taking your loved one there, but if you think things might not be going well after they are settled in, here are a few tips that might help.

Pay Attention to Your Loved One's Emotional State

Your loved one is likely in a nursing home because they are no longer able to take care of themselves, but if they can still communicate with you in at least some fashion, pay attention to their words and actions. If they are suddenly lashing out or seem depressed, this could be a warning sign that not everything is going well. Sure, they could just be upset to be in the nursing home, but if the swing in mood is unusual for them, there's a chance something else could be going on.

Show Up Unannounced

Even if your nursing home requires people to contact them to schedule a visit ahead of time, you should still find a way to make an unannounced visit every once in a while. If you have to talk to an administrator, you can just tell the nursing home there is a private family matter to discuss and you need to see your loved one right away; but ideally, you want to try and just walk right into your loved one's room without letting anyone know you are coming. Be observant and take note of the condition of the room and your loved one's overall mood and well-being, especially if you just showed up outside of visitation hours.

Ask a Lot of Questions, or Better Yet, Get a Lawyer

If you suspect abuse is going on, you need to be proactive about it even if you are not ready to accuse anyone of anything. Talk to the nurses and administrators in detail, asking lots of questions about your loved one's care; you can also consider hiring a nursing home abuse attorney to call and ask questions on your behalf. If there is abuse going on, the nurses or administrators will at least be more likely to stop if they know you or an attorney are keeping a close eye on things.

If you suspect not all is at it seems at your loved one's nursing home, consider reaching out to a local attorney who specializes in nursing home abuse. You can contact professionals like Garrison Law Firm for more information. In the meantime, pay attention to your loved one's mood, try to make an unannounced visit or two, and ask a lot of questions to everyone on staff.